Loving yourself-  my guess is this statement elicited one of two responses- either you are contemplating not reading any further because you are repulsed by our society’s glorification of self, or you’re excited about reading more about your favorite topic- you. Both are understandable reactions.  Love of self is something we are constantly thrown contradictory messages about throughout our lives.

Remember as a child being chided for selfishness?  We are taught from a young age to share with others- our siblings, our friends, even strangers.  I remember a time as a very young child when I was picking out a gift for a friend’s birthday.  My Mom was asking me to choose between several activity books- one in the shape of a horse, the other a monkey.  The horse was clearly the cooler option, but yet I chose the monkey for my friend. Why?  Because I was a child, consequently childish, and I was jealous, not wanting my friend to have the horse workbook because I wanted it.  Consequently, of course, neither one of us got the super cool horse workbook; but it was a lesson I clearly still remember- denying someone else something out of covetousness ends up denying you both of potential joy, plus I got the extra gift of guilt because I felt bad about it- obviously for years afterwards since I still remember it.

Yet,  we are also taught from a young age to love ourselves through messages like “Take care of yourself- your body is God’s temple,” “Respect yourself- you are a creation of God.”  Our television loves to remind us, “Put yourself first- because you’re worth it,” through the constant onslaught of television commercials whose subtle psychological brainwashing schemes we actually pay to have broadcast into our homes.  The movies we watch send unmistakable messages of self-pride reminding us to  “Stand up for yourself, no one else will,”  often through themes involving physical or psychological domination or violence, all of which involve a focus on self-glorification or power over others.

I think one of the reasons Christians struggle with the concept of self- love is we seem to think it has to be the complete opposite of selfless love.  We think we can’t fully love others if we don’t completely deny ourselves. We are trapped in simplistic reasoning, believing we have to choose between misery, self-depreciation and self-denial to please God,  or happiness and self-gratification.

Actually I’ve come to think of self-love and selfless love as two sides of the same coin.  Rather than being polar opposites, they are more like an ice cube in a glass of water- the same and yet separate.  Both an ice cube and liquid water have the exact same chemical composition, yet are very different in appearance, feel, and function. Left to itself, the ice cube eventually becomes one with the glass of water.

Likewise, loving others does not necessarily require a betrayal of self and who God created you to be.  Loving others  requires full cognizance of self, because without appreciation, understanding, empathy, and yes- love for self, it is very difficult to truly love others.  Because others, like us, are imperfect.  Like us, other humans are going to act selfishly, displaying jealousy, greed, and many other less than desirable characteristics- guaranteed.  Sometimes they are innocent in action, yet just plain annoying, and yet we are called to love.  We notice these qualities in others because we first became acquainted with them in ourselves.   It is only through recognizing these undeniable human qualities in ourselves and through forgiving ourselves for our propensity for selfishness and sin, that we are able to do the same for others- recognize their flaws, forgive, and love anyway.  Love for others is  fueled through empathy for our common denominators.

In the Bible both Leviticus and Mark remind us to love others as ourselves.

“…you must love your fellow man as yourself.” Leviticus 19:18

“…’You must love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no other commandment great than these.” Mark 12:31

Both love for others and love for self are contained in the same sentence- inseparable.  The implication is that we learn to love others THROUGH our love for self.  What does this love look like? How do we love ourselves in a way that fosters love for others as well, but doesn’t deteriorate into a spiral of destructive mere self-gratification?  How do we overcome the either-or story our culture tells us- that there isn’t enough to go around, we either love others or ourselves?

I wonder if the message Jesus has for us is that we should practice loving others through our understanding, forgiveness, and empathy for self.  If we don’t first acknowledge and forgive our own flaws, fails, and faults, it is pretty unlikely that we will find empathy and love in our heart for the flaws we observe in others.  Do you see the connection?  We learn about the flaws of others through acknowledgment of our own flaws, and we learn about forgiving others for their faults by forgiving ourselves for our own faults and poor choices.

So likewise, as we practice self-love by acknowledging and forgiving ourselves for sinful actions or thoughts, we simultaneously learn how to extend love and forgiveness to others for being similarly wired.  By viewing self as a child, still learning and still wired to be tempted to touch the stove we were warned not to touch, we are able to forgive ourselves, and better equipped to forgive others for similar actions.  By forgiving ourselves we are able to move past the mistake, learn from it and see around the obstacle, revealing the potential we have yet to share with the world.  By forgiving ourselves, we are able to more fully forgive others, allowing us to overlook imperfections and see the potential and good gifts God has placed in each of his creations.

The danger is not in loving yourself-  God has deemed us worthy of love, created in His image as a child of God.  The bigger danger is in not holding ourselves accountable for our choices and thoughts , or not acknowledging our imperfections and mistakes.  Denial of our propensity of selfishness is a fast track to isolation and misery because it prevents us from truly seeing and identifying with others as our equals.  Deluding ourselves into thinking we are somehow less selfish or possessing fewer of the less desirable human qualities we are endowed with blocks all empathy and forgiveness and creates the dangerous evil twin to self-love…self-righteousness.  Self-righteousness not only blocks our ability to love, connect, and forgive others, it blocks others ability to connect with us.

So, go ahead, love yourself.  Forgive yourself for all the times you didn’t share, got angry, let pride get the best of you- and move on.  Don’t repeat the mistake- learn from it, but forgive yourself as you would a child and extend that same forgiveness to those around you- as God forgives us through Jesus Christ. We’re all in this together, and we have much more in common with one another than we sometimes like to admit, but when we start looking for the commonalities and the good in others, we find it. It all starts with accepting and loving yourself as God first loved you.

“We love because He first loved us.”  1 John 4:19

 

 

My blog posts have been few and far between- not as a result of writer’s block, but as a result of the dreaded over- scheduled, over- harried, and over- expectationed (yes I made that word up) seasonal calendar.  Just when we think our lives couldn’t be fuller, more frantic, more frenetic…the holidays loom and the cultural expectations that abound during the season of festive joy slowly take on the ominous tones of a symphonic accompaniment to a horror movie.  Good intentions morph into pressured “have tos” that clutter our calendars with distractions and obligations.  Christmas cards, Christmas parties, Christmas presents, Christmas decorations, Christmas trees- all beautiful traditions we have managed to pervert into commercialized distortions of stress and excess.

I bet you’re thinking, “But I love getting Christmas cards!” and “Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without the decorations, the tree, the get togethers…”  Agreed, but is a Christmas card or greeting from beloved friends and family received after the holidays any less heart felt or received with less gratitude and thankfulness?  I am equally grateful for cards that trickle in after the artificially designated date of December 25th as I am for those that arrive in a culturally acceptable pre-holiday timetable.  My holidays are no less festive if my tree is up 3 weeks after Thanksgiving than if I have it up immediately after, and my love for friends and family that are not able to make their schedules coordinate with the designated dinner celebrations does not ebb with their absence.

Our Christmas traditions should enhance our experience of the season, not detract from or rob joy from the purpose of this day that we set aside to commemorate the most notable human event in the history of the world and time itself.  There is nothing wrong with any of these traditions when used properly to enhance and put the focus where it belongs- on the birth of a savior who came to save us from the all the pains, stress, fear, and human expectations wrapped up in a sinful planet.  Yet, when these traditions eclipse a focus on the celebration of the dawn of  salvation through the birth of Jesus Christ, we may need to step back momentarily and ask ourselves “Why?”  Why are we doing the things we do, what is the purpose of the traditions we are sharing with friends and family? Is the arbitrary deadline I’ve set enhancing the holiday or destroying the joy it is intended to give birth to? Gifts born out of sacrifice and love are indeed a beautiful thing, but we  hopefully are using them with the purpose of shining a mirror on the greatest sacrificial gift of love the world has ever seen in the gift of God’s only son to a world destined to depreciate, dishonor, and desecrate that precious gift.

Use this season of love and festivities to point to God, share His love with others, and give conscious attention to the purpose and “why” in the moments each of these holiday traditions bring with them.  Whenever cultural pressure rears its ugly expectation- filled head, make a conscious decision to prioritize what makes the celebration of a Savior’s birth most meaningful to your family.  The sun will still rise and set whether your cards are sent out on December 25th or January 25th.  Live in the moment of the hour, and appreciate the opportunities you  have with loved ones- whether it is on Christmas day – or a month later.  Give the gifts of acceptance, understanding, patience, and forgiveness when the familiar pressures of family chaos appear- because they will, every holiday.  If you find yourself alone for the holidays, choose gratefulness for the peace and serenity of the moment and use the time to spend time with a Savior who is alive, well, and eager to share your joys and sorrows with you.

“And she shall bring forth a son, and you shalt call His name Jesus [Savior]: for He shall save His people from their sins.” Matthew 1:21

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”  John 3:16

No greater, more lavish gift has ever been bestowed on a more undeserving, unappreciative recipient.  Make the most of Christmas by focusing on that which is most important and impactful to you during this special season.  Appreciate the moments of peace along with the moments of chaos, and give thanks for the most generous act of self sacrifice the world will ever know in the birth of the most innocent babe ever born,who became the most powerful King in time who gave us the greatest gift of all- eternal love and salvation.  Peace.

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”  Luke 2:14

Reflections are enlightening.  We see them every day in the bathroom mirror, in the lakes or ponds we drive by, in the store windows we stroll by, on any smooth shiny reflective surface we glance at.  Sometimes we like what we see, sometimes not so much.  In a sense, as God’s children, we have the ability to reflect our Creator similar to a mirror- a cracked mirror perhaps, but a reflection of his creation and image, nonetheless.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him…”Genesis 1:27 ( ESV)

 ^“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”  1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)

As I drove to work one morning, I found myself behind a gravel road encrusted semi-truck framed in aluminum and steel, and watched as it suddenly transformed into a brilliant red, orange, and fuchsia reflection of the gorgeous sunrise in my rear view mirror.  The dissonance of those two things- a rickety, dusty truck and a divine sunrise of other-worldly brilliance, triggered  my wonder  regarding what other reflections of God could be found if one really looked at a world filled simultaneously with both beautiful and hideous events.

Is it possible that God can be found in not only the clearly beautiful and good things of the world, but the ugly and painful as well?  Can an imperfect, fallen world filled with a teeter -totter of evil, sad, and excruciating events as well as uplifting and wondrous moments, simultaneously reflect a perfect God? Unfortunately, as human beings we are wired to detect, magnify, and retain the negative memories of life more resiliently than those of an uplifting nature.   One only has to watch the evening news to realize that it is preponderantly tragic due to the simple equation that bad news sells.  Psychology Today published an article  detailing our brain’s built in negativity bias (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias ) which underscores the battle we must constantly wage if we are to even tentatively maintain a “glass half-full” mentality.

Yet, we are gifted with consciousness and free-will,  giving us control over our thoughts.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13 (NIV)

If we look closely enough, we discover that our intellect can be used to search out and find God’s beauty and goodness reflected in even the tragic and ugly moments of life.  In even the worst days of our life, there are still gifts to be grateful for, still moments to be appreciated, life to be cherished.  Victor E.  Frankyl, a survivor of one history’s most horrific displays of cruelty via the concentration camps of World War II wrote,

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” 

As Frankyl observed, even in the midst of abject horror, pain, and suffering, God’s love and essence could prevail.   Like a wildflower blooming in the midst of ashes left behind following a forest fire, God’s goodness and beauty cannot be contained.  God’s essence is present in all the moments, experiences, and crevices of life, and manages to manifest itself sometimes imperceptibly- sometimes suddenly and profoundly- but always emerges.  It is impossible to take God out of a world He created and inhabits through the hearts of His children.

 “…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

It is through His creation- through us- if we are willing, that God is able to most visibly manifest His goodness and reflection.  He is not just present in the beautiful and the wondrous, he is also present in the tragic, devastating, and despairing. The evil that manifests in the world through humanity’s propensity for selfishness and self-gratification does not escape God’s ability to infiltrate the darkest corners of depravity with His essence, His goodness, His light.  Darkness and selfishness is not of God, but He shows up nonetheless through love, courage, generosity, hope, faith, and every other uplifting adjective that our brains can conjure.

He is in the friends that join us in mourning, the neighbors that lend following disaster, the palm that cradles the hand of the dying, and the stranger that comforts the stranded.  He is everywhere and cannot be contained, like a transparent aroma that takes over a room.

“The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.” Proverbs 15:3 (NIV)

“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good…” Genesis 50:20 (NKJV)

Despite what the headlines on tonight’s news want you to believe, God is still at work in the world through the reflections of love He places all around us and in us.  Our mirrors may be cracked by the sinful nature of humanity, but the reflection can still be beautiful,  all the same, through the presence of God’s love when we accept Christ as the atonement for our sin and let Him rule in our hearts and minds.  It is then that our mirrors can reflect beauty, love, and goodness no matter what our circumstances.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV)  

I love trips to the beach.  I’m not exactly sure why. Anyone who has met me knows the beach should be my last possible vacation destination.  I burn- easily and inevitably.  I tend towards hyperactivity and feel being made to sit anywhere for hours on end a form of inhumane torture.  The memories I have of beach trips with my children as they grew are full of stress and tension as I executed the regimented count to keep track of bobbing heads in the waves, rinsing grit out of a crying infant’s eyes or mouth, and slathering sunscreen on reluctant faces with a density comparable to the peanut butter I spread on their sandwiches.

Yet when considering a vacation destination this year, a beach was the image that kept creeping into my psyche.  My soul craved the predictable sonata of the ocean waves punctuated by the screech of seagulls and the crescendo of the afternoon thunderstorms rolling in just prior to the panoramic sunset.  I enjoy walking on the beach, scanning the recently wave swept path for iridescent seashells that promise to package up the calming mystique of the shore like a magical memory souvenir.

One morning as I walked, I was struck by the sheer volume of little shells scattered in dense piles for yards of dampened shoreline.  I usually look for unique shells that haven’t been broken in two or penetrated by a hungry sea urchin.  On this beach, however, you couldn’t walk without stepping on them. It was almost over whelming because everywhere I looked there were beautiful little shimmering treasures. If I bent over to pick one up, I’d see another equally lovely shell next to it, and then another alongside with shimmering colors– tiny, compelling, and perfect. Then as I walked, I almost felt guilty at all the shells crunching like autumn leaves beneath my feet-  like I was walking across a treasure chest, crushing the contents with each step.  It occurred to me that the miles of sandy beaches were all composed of crushed, ground up shells created literally from the sands of time.  How ancient were the grains of sand that glittered underneath the foamy tide?  Is there a number high enough to encompass the vastness?

The verse from Psalm 139 kept invading my conscience-

“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.” Psalm 139:17-18

One of the reasons the beach is so rejuvenating to me is that it makes me feel both insignificant and magnificent simultaneously.  Magnificent because I am loved by a God who thinks of me and my loved ones in an infinitely endless stream.  His thoughts of us existed before our birth and will continue after we no longer walk the earth.  Just processing the reality that God had a single momentary thought about me is profound, but to think about his thoughts being more in number than the grains of sand on a seemingly endless beach is pretty mind blowing.   However, this dizzying centrifuge of thought precipitated by the sand between my toes also surreptitiously humbles me because of my undeniable minuscule mark in the universal sands of time.  The sheer magnitude of God’s creation, time, plans, and vast dimensions of his omniscience are instantly brought to mind when contemplating the complexity and awe of nature, and my comparative insignificance.

Creation forces us to recognize that it isn’t all about me, or you, or us.  It is all about God.  A God that loves us.  A God that created us in love, saved us because of love, and through sacrificial love transforms us from insignificant specks on the timeline of existence to infinitely valuable treasures to live with Him for eternity.

“But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day.” 2 Peter 3:8

 

“That’s life.”  What thoughts and feelings come to mind after reading that phrase?  The majority of us apply a negative connotation to that statement. So many exasperations, frustrations, and situations we don’t control. When something undesired happens to a loved one our response is often a glib, “That’s life.”  However, consider for a moment the possibility that it’s your thoughts and feelings that make up your life, not the experiences that you encounter.

Sure, there are experiences independent of our thoughts that stack on top of one another like Lego blocks on the timeline of life, but our thoughts and feelings about those situations create the metaphysical realities of our actual experience. What are we building with those stacked up Lego creations we call life?  In essence, we are the creators of our life story.  Yes, God is THE Creator- he has designed and numbered every hair on each of our heads and the DNA strands in each of our cells.  Yet by giving free choice to His creations, we become creations made in His image who have the power to create whatever type of life we choose for ourselves by means of our thoughts, emotions, and feelings.

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 27:1

The circumstances may choose us, but we choose, we decide how to react to those circumstances.  When we sense those emotions of anger, frustration, sadness welling up do we embrace them and nurture them, or acknowledge them for what they are- simply emotions or reactions?  We have the ability to re-frame our initial knee jerk default emotions into a chosen experience.  Do you want to live a life where situations choose and control you or where you decide and control the context?  What is the ending you want to write to the last page of your morning chapter, work day chapter, family dinner chapter, week chapter, of your life’s story?  Our lives are our very own creation- written one glorious unpredictable moment, sentence, paragraph, and chapter at a time.

It’s certainly less work to play the victim and blame game, looking every which way but in the mirror for the cause of our distress or misfortune.  We’ve all done it.  The only thing the blame or victim mentality accomplishes however, is nourishment of our own anger, frustration, and negative emotions.  It doesn’t make us feel better, move us forward in our spiritual maturity, nor does it move us closer to life goals.

However, acknowledging the feeling for what it is- negativity, deciding what we’d rather feel like, and deciding how we can reframe the situation to allow for our own growth and creative ending- that endows the experience with potential for endless possibilities! We don’t control all the variables in the situations life throws at us, but we do control some aspects of the outcome.  What ending do you want the story to have for you?  An unhappy ending of fussing, futility, and frustration or a upbeat ending of accomplishment, achievement, and advancement?

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28

An example: someone is blatantly rude to you.  We all know the aggravating pain.  Your proverbial toes have been stepped on, you reactively want to kick back; but wait- what made them lash out at you?  Was it something you said earlier that you need to apologize for? Were they mistreated earlier in the day by someone else?  What is happening in their home, their health, their financial situation?  Is it really that big of an offense that you are willing to let it kidnap your compass and point it toward negativity and anger? Would your day go on, the earth keep spinning if you just let this go?  Is it a situation that could be easily diffused with a calm acknowledgment, “You seem really upset- is everything okay?”  The possibilities are endless, but you control the rudder.  What direction do you want to sail your ship of thoughts?

Let’s say you’re in the grocery store,  you’re running late-again, checking out in the slowest lane, waiting for an elderly gent to slowly count out his change for his purchase.  You could fume and glare, but it would only raise the stress levels of yourself and everyone near you.  Or, you could decide to re-frame the situation.  Ask yourself why you’re feeling angry?  How did you contribute to the situation- did you try to push your schedule to the limit again?  If the roles were reversed would you want to others to be patient with you?  What if it was your grandfather or loved one in the check out line? How would you want others to treat them?  Do you have children with you?  What behaviors are you teaching them- kindness and compassion or impatience and self-importance?  Make a conscious decision to be compassionate, patient, understanding.  Perhaps the circumstances of the gentleman’s life were particularly difficult today, what if he just lost a loved one, is buying a loaf of bread with the last change in his pocket, is racked with pain due to advanced arthritis, is purchasing food for someone in need…. We as humans have the tendency to jump to conclusions about others when our lives would be better served by simply attending to our own thoughts by putting them in the right context.  A context of positivity, compassion, kindness, understanding, expansion, and progress is just as easy to imagine as one of judgement, impatience, and irritation.  Decide to be thoughtful.  Control your thoughts and you control your life. Acknowledge life with gratitude- that’s life- your life- make it a joyful one!

 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

 

Worry – According Merriam-Webster, the word “worry” originated in the British language and originally applied to choking or strangling.  Appropriate, given the power that we often give worry in our lives.  We allow our imaginations to run free with the multitude of worries that torment and assail our thoughts daily choking out any potential positive vibes.  Left unchecked, worry can rob us of peace, happiness, and progress, while derailing our lives into a vicious, incapacitating cycle- worry- fear-paralyzation. This fear can become the center of our lives, the plumb line from which our decisions originate and are controlled.

It’s one thing to apply wisdom to avoid unpleasant consequences in life- like putting on a seat belt when you get in a car, but it’s another thing altogether when we avoid interacting with others out of fear of being judged, or focus obsessively on a concern we have no control over to the detriment of our quality of life. When worry distracts us from the life around us and starts pulling the puppet strings of our mind, we need to take notice and take control.  We have the ability to control our thoughts, derail the runaway worry train, and put ourselves back in charge of the destination of our thoughts.  We often want to claim we don’t have control of our thoughts, and perhaps for brief moments we don’t, but we most certainly do have the ability to transform our thoughts into productive, deliberate creations.

I should know, I’ve allowed worrisome thoughts to accomplish all the above listed attrocities and more, but I have found a few strategies that are extremely effective in taking control of  my thoughts so that I can be consumed with the life around me rather than the anxiety fed by my worries.

1. Find a Bible verse that speaks to you on the heart of your worry, and repeat it over and over until it plays like a song you can’t get out of your head.  Your brain is an amazing organ capable of much more than we realize, but it isn’t very good at multi-tasking.  If we  truly focus on the words of the verse we are reciting, your brain will not be able to fixate on the worry that our enemy the devil keeps taunting us with.  This technique is especially effective if the verse is spoken out loud.  Of course, an equally valuable side-benefit is that a verse is planted in your heart, and your soul is reminded of the truth of God’s Word that never returns empty (Isaiah 55:11).  This technique has honestly been my lifeline in the absolute worst moments of my life.  Below are some of my favorite “worry chaser” go-to’s, but the Bible is full of wisdom when it comes to this joy stealer; check out a Concordance or Google to find a verse that speaks wisdom and peace to your heart.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25-34

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

  2.  The Bible also gives us a hint in Philipians 4:6-7, above,  about my second favorite worry demolishment technique– thanksgiving.  As I alluded to previously, our brains really are not designed to intensely focus on multiple tasks simultaneously.  When we express gratitude, praise, and thanksgiving, we pretty much kick worry to the curb.  If I deliberately concentrate and search for blessings and transform my thoughts into thankfulness, it is impossible to simultaneously obsess over my worries.  There are blessings around us every second of every day.  Do you have a loved one in good health? Be thankful.  Will you be able to put food in front of your family today? Express gratitude.  Did you hear your favorite song, see a gorgeous flower, smell the top of an infant’s head? Praise God for the minute, but delicious, micro- miracles we take for granted each second.

3.  Pray for others. My third favorite worry-crushing technique is to pray for the needs of others.  I’ve found this to be a fast-track to humility because it often reminds me that my problems are minor compared to the struggle of others that God has placed in my thoughts and in my heart.  You don’t have to look long or far to find God’s blessings in your life, and unfortunately you won’t have to look hard or far to find someone in the midst of circumstances that would benefit from prayer.  Suffering is part of life and part of being human; it does not discriminate based on gender, age, race, or socio-economic status.  Everyone you meet, have ever met, or will ever meet,  is suffering in some way- some just more visibly than others.  Pray for them, it makes your self-focused worry shrink in the shadow of  other’s needs.

4.  Finally, the grand-finale of worry busters- TRUST.  Pray to God regarding your worry, then leave your worry at the feet of God.  The one and only God; the one and only who can do anything about this palpable worry you’ve allowed such prominence in your life.  The verses above leave no room for alternate interpretations of God’s thoughts regarding the role worry should play in our day to day lives.  Worry is to have no part in a Christian’s life.  We are to give it to God and trust Him with our worries, our anxieties, and everything else that the multitude of concerns left to run amok in our brains manages to produce. When you step back and think about it, why would we want to do anything else?  What do we have to gain by holding tight to something as repugnant to God as distrust?  Why not treat the ugliness and stench of worry like a hot potato and follow God’s instructions to toss it quickly to Him?  Holding on to our worries like a cherished possession doesn’t solve any problems; rather it magnifies them, glorifies them, and stifles any potential creative problem solving that could potentially take place.  I’ve never been able to personally transform a worry into something wonderful, or managed to evaporate it into space- but I’ve certainly seen God accomplish that and more with my worries, anxieties, troubles,  and those of others.  Give it a try- what do you have to lose?

 

Life is busy.  Our culture glorifies busy “ness”.  Technology allows us to now stay plugged and  “busy” 24 x 7, if we so desire, and many of us not just desire but demand it.  There is no faster path to creating discomfort with my teenagers than to move their phone out of arm’s reach and ask them to sit “unplugged” for a few moments.  I admit I’m not much better at unplugging myself-  FOMO (interpreted as “fear of missing out” for the technologically challenged) is an omnipresent specter if technology is not within our imminent grasp.  This is no novel concept; it has been written about relentlessly- ironically on the internet, ad nauseum.

I sometimes wonder if our addiction is just a form of self aggrandizement.  A means of convincing ourselves that we are so important to the universe that it can’t continue rotating for a second without our input, our monitoring, our ever watchful gaze — and selfie posts, of course.  Who in the world wouldn’t want to know exactly what we are eating at this very moment?  Similar to a “god” complex akin to putting ourselves at the center of the universe and empowering us to pull the puppet strings of the world to satisfy our desire to control and proselytize.   Where am I going with this?  Technological apocalypse?  Heaven forbid, no, I’m much too far avanced in my addiction to Google answers at my beck and call.  I am advocating however perspective and pause.

I have begun introducing the word “WHY” into my thought vocabulary.  Why am I surfing through Facebook at this very moment?  I love seeing updated posts of my friends near and far and watching the metamorphosis of their children as they grow and become the people God created them to be.  However, more often than not, I find myself scrolling endlessly through the posts of political opinions, rants, and yes- dinner photos, which  really does nothing to improve the qualify of my life, or that of others.  I’ve found it is enough to check the most recent posts of the day, acknowledge those I love with a thumbs up “like”, and move on.  I really don’t miss much if I don’t revisit Facebook  for -GASP- another 24 hours.

Technology bashing aside, asking yourself , “Why?” is a great equalizer. How does what you’re doing right now fit into your life priorities?  The majority of the population groans getting out of bed in the morning, focusing negative energy on the drudgery of reluctantly heading to work, rather than the “Why?” of our work day.  Why do you go to work?  Are you a nurse who literally holds the life pulse of each of the individuals they care for each day?  Are you a teacher who makes a lasting psychological impact on the lives of children?  Are you a ____ (fill in the blank)  that goes to work every day in exchange for financial resources that provide a better quality of life for your family?  Why do you do what you do each day?  When was the last time you deliberately expressed gratitude for having a job? I know I personally find my work much more rewarding when I focus on the people I am able to help and the financial margin I am able to provide for my college bound children, hopefully improving their quality of life in the process. Focusing on my “why”  makes the inevitable work stressors much more tolerable.

To step back from the day to day microcosm and gain a more macro vantage point, what is your spiritual “why” for each thing you do?  How does what you’re doing benefit not just you, but God’s ultimate purpose for your life?

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

If we are to find the purpose in life God intended for us, we can’t progress with intention without asking, “Why?” Why do you get out of bed each morning?  Are the actions you are taking each day making a positive difference, moving your life and the life of those you influence in the right direction? Are the actions you are taking, decisions you are making, things you are saying, and even thoughts you are thinking, worthy of your, “Why?”  Are you being intentional with the time on earth God has given you?  If not, what are you waiting for? Set your phone down, ask “Why,”  pray for guidance, and move forward with purpose.

“And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ” Romans 8:28

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 cuPhoto by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I have one child attending the University of Iowa and a 2nd about to start their 1st semester as a Hawkeye this fall.  My husband and I both earned our M.B.As at the “U.of I.” as we call it,  so you could say it is a family tradition.  You’ll understand then, that when I found a 1928 University of Iowa yearbook, complete with amazing art deco- style graphics, at a local antique store, I was compelled to purchase it.  As I paged through the fascinating pages that give a glimpse into the lives of long ago alumni, I find my mind creating narratives that construct lives around the photos of the unique faces on each page.  It dawned on me that the majority of those faces staring out of the time-frozen pages were already deceased.  How many of those faces accepted Jesus as their savior and are saved?  What types of lives did they live? An impactful life that touched a dizzying number of lives like a crescendo of dominoes toppling across the face of time, or a quite lonely existence of isolation, fear,  and wasted potential? My face graces the pages of an old University yearbook somewhere in a dusty attic.  Some day it will be discovered, and a curious face will marvel at the ridiculous hair styles and trends that dominate the glossy page, and they too will wonder about the lives of those mysterious lives from the past.  It is a humble reminder that someday I too will be gone, save for a musty photo in an album or yearbook.  What legacy am I leaving in the wake of my unavoidable escape from planet earth?  Thus far I’d say a combination of moments-  some fearful and wasted that I am not proud of;  some that I hope have caused a ripple of goodness to to cascade across the universe  magnified by the butterfly effect of chaos theory.

Those future University of Iowa grads our family cherishes are full of hope, potential, and possibilities.  We often think in terms of success as accolades, accomplishments, titles, income, power, and possessions. Yet I am certain that if I had the opportunity to interview each of those past alumni immediately prior to their last day on earth, they would send a message that their greatest accomplishments were those invested in bettering the lives of others by pointing to the ultimate purpose in life.

Micah 6:8 “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”NIV

Matthew 22:37-39 “‘You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. The second, like it, is this, ‘You must love your neighbor as yourself.’” NWT

In sum, I like to think we better the lives of others by living out God’s purpose for our lives.  We each are given unique gifts and abilities by our Creator, but each of those gifts maximizes it’s potential by pointing to God and his ultimate love for us which he expects us to  teach others about by pouring out on others.  We don’t act justly (fairly) if we are focused on ourselves. We aren’t merciful if we only consider our own feelings. We aren’t humble if think more of ourselves than of others.  Loving others well requires a relationship with God.  Otherwise, we are too quickly distracted by the shiny distractions our culture and selfishness demands we prioritize.

A life well lived is a life lived with purpose, not necessarily possessions.  God provides us with both, we just need to prioritize our lives in a way that allows purpose to lead, everything else of true value will follow.

I spend a lot of time at track meets this time of year- junior high meets, high school meets, coed meets.  I enjoy watching the temporary adrenaline rushes careen across the finish lines. It’s inspirational to watch the strength and talent that God pours into young bodies crossing the finish line victorious and joyous while their teammates share in the momentary elation.  For just a moment we’re all victors by virtue of the shared witness- the satisfaction is palpable.  As much as I love and enjoy those moments, I’m twice as inspired by the athlete that trips over a hurdle and yet gets up, the runner that leaves everything on the track only to finish 2nd by a hairsbreath, the athlete that is the 4th runner in a relay for a team in last place yet still puts every last breath into finishing to the best of their ability.  I’m inspired by the disabled individual running down the track not at their top speed but at a pace that allows them to look around, wave, drink in the moment and squeeze every possible drop of exuberance possible out of the cheering stands.

This is what God intends for us to get out of life. The pure moments of perseverance not focused on winning but on finishing the race- no matter what.  Our purpose is to finish breathless our eyes on the finish line, not on our competitors or obstacles, but on God Himself. So run, walk, crawl, roll if you have to – but don’t stop. Keep your eyes on God, our ultimate plumb line, and finish in His arms while He shares in the moment of your mutual victory.

 

Pride is given a good connotation in our society. We are proud of our children, proud of accomplishments, proud of our possessions, proud of ourselves, proud of our country, I could go on. I don’t know that this type of pride I’ll define as being “pleased with the state of being in a given circumstance” is necessarily an evil thing, but it’s close cousin, pridefulness is something we should be on guard against at all times. Pridefulness is pride left to run amok to distort our thoughts and actions into something that derails our mind towards a focused frenzy on our own superiority. Pridefulness distilled down to its purest truth is simply a superiority complex. We compare, we judge, we puff up. We compare ourselves using the most ridiculous categories as well, don’t we? We compare body types and clothing sizes, appearances and spouses, strength and accomplishments, possessions and power.   The commercials on television capitalize on the ease with which we are lured into feeding our prideful nature- “Buy this product and be better.” Better than who? Your neighbor, your friend, your brother, your sister, your enemy? Does any of it really matter? Once we’ve acquired that latest product giving us a short term superiority fix, does anyone really notice? Does that burst of pridefulness last past the first scratch in the new car, the first mortgage payment on the new house, the scuff on the new pair of overpriced shoes? There is always going to be someone that has a nicer house, a more expensive pair of shoes, a newer car, better credentials. The game of comparison is a losing battle with ourselves because there is always going to be someone that can one up us in pretty much every category. So where does all this get us? Pridefulness distracts us from reality and then betrays us. It is the ultimate derailment strategy of the devil.

Pride was the first sin and remains today the root of all sin. You can never have pride without self-focus. Even Satan’s fall can be traced to pride in Isaiah 14:12-15:

“How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low!  You said in your heart, I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north;”

Satan wanted to be like God and is completely absorbed with self focus, “I will ascend…I will set, I will sit…” We gasp at Satan’s audacity, but aren’t we similarly delusional at times? Every sin ever committed revolves around our own self-gratification and pride. Theft and greed equates to thinking we need or deserve something more than the person we take it from, lust equates to putting our own desires ahead of the consequences sure to unfold on those around us, killing usually equates to the desire have power and control over others as evidenced by the preponderance of wars that litter the historical writings of time.

Pride- putting ourselves or thinking ourselves above others-and sometimes even God- is the human Achilles heel. Every time we act in a way that pleases our flesh instead of God we’re technically saying we are putting our needs (and ourselves) ahead of Him in importance.

“There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers” Proverbs 6:16-19.

Notice that all the above things God detests are related to pride?

I somewhere came across the notion that every time we criticize someone we are in essence expressing our perceived superiority. That’s a bit unnerving isn’t it? Yet sadly accurate. Our criticism is often a veiled attempt to say, “I can do that better.” “I’m a better human being because I don’t do THAT.” “I’m a better human because I can do that better than you.” “I’m a better human being because I know more than you do.”  Sounds a little childish doesn’t it, but sadly we can’t help our human selves. There’s a reason we’re called the “children of God”. We forget that the intelligence we used to achieve great things was not our accomplishment, but God’s gift. Yes, we have the ability to use the gifts God gives us to do wonderful things- that is a choice we can make. Yet even the act of choice is a God given ability. We can run because God blessed us with legs, see because God blessed us with eyes, communicate because God has given us a tongue and intellect. We’re living in houses in a free country because of the resources God’s gifts have provided for us. We’re eating the fruit of our gardens that God’s weather and soil has provided for us. We’re surrounded by friends and family that God has created. We really can’t separate ourselves from the blessings of God- they’re everywhere, but yet we give Him so little thought and credit. What can we really do apart from God?

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

God must shake his head at us on a daily basis at our all too frequent attempts to claim the credit for his work in our lives. As the verse above points out, apart from God we really can do nothing…are nothing. The good news is what we can do WITH God in our lives, especially when we give Him the credit and the glory for everything that we have that is good in our life.

“With God I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

^” Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17

So yes, pridefulness is an insidious and powerful adversary to be reckoned with, but I believe it can be defeated. Pridefulness is simply the antonym of gratefulness. For if we are looking inward, and taking credit for the blessings and gifts in our life, we are denying where those abilities and gifts originated. Simply turn that inward focus outward where it belongs- on the God that is responsible for everything you have in life to be proud of.  Pridefulness is a potent enemy that is difficult to avoid in the human condition. However, gratefulness and worship is more than powerful enough to conquer it. Don’t be proud- be grateful, and give thanks to the God that is responsible for everything and everyone that ever was, is, and will be.

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