“That’s life.” What thoughts and feelings come to mind after reading that phrase? The majority of us apply a negative connotation to that statement. So many exasperations, frustrations, and situations we don’t control. When something undesired happens to a loved one our response is often a glib, “That’s life.” However, consider for a moment the possibility that it’s your thoughts and feelings that make up your life, not the experiences that you encounter.
Sure, there are experiences independent of our thoughts that stack on top of one another like Lego blocks on the timeline of life, but our thoughts and feelings about those situations create the metaphysical realities of our actual experience. What are we building with those stacked up Lego creations we call life? In essence, we are the creators of our life story. Yes, God is THE Creator- he has designed and numbered every hair on each of our heads and the DNA strands in each of our cells. Yet by giving free choice to His creations, we become creations made in His image who have the power to create whatever type of life we choose for ourselves by means of our thoughts, emotions, and feelings.
“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 27:1
The circumstances may choose us, but we choose, we decide how to react to those circumstances. When we sense those emotions of anger, frustration, sadness welling up do we embrace them and nurture them, or acknowledge them for what they are- simply emotions or reactions? We have the ability to re-frame our initial knee jerk default emotions into a chosen experience. Do you want to live a life where situations choose and control you or where you decide and control the context? What is the ending you want to write to the last page of your morning chapter, work day chapter, family dinner chapter, week chapter, of your life’s story? Our lives are our very own creation- written one glorious unpredictable moment, sentence, paragraph, and chapter at a time.
It’s certainly less work to play the victim and blame game, looking every which way but in the mirror for the cause of our distress or misfortune. We’ve all done it. The only thing the blame or victim mentality accomplishes however, is nourishment of our own anger, frustration, and negative emotions. It doesn’t make us feel better, move us forward in our spiritual maturity, nor does it move us closer to life goals.
However, acknowledging the feeling for what it is- negativity, deciding what we’d rather feel like, and deciding how we can reframe the situation to allow for our own growth and creative ending- that endows the experience with potential for endless possibilities! We don’t control all the variables in the situations life throws at us, but we do control some aspects of the outcome. What ending do you want the story to have for you? An unhappy ending of fussing, futility, and frustration or a upbeat ending of accomplishment, achievement, and advancement?
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28
An example: someone is blatantly rude to you. We all know the aggravating pain. Your proverbial toes have been stepped on, you reactively want to kick back; but wait- what made them lash out at you? Was it something you said earlier that you need to apologize for? Were they mistreated earlier in the day by someone else? What is happening in their home, their health, their financial situation? Is it really that big of an offense that you are willing to let it kidnap your compass and point it toward negativity and anger? Would your day go on, the earth keep spinning if you just let this go? Is it a situation that could be easily diffused with a calm acknowledgment, “You seem really upset- is everything okay?” The possibilities are endless, but you control the rudder. What direction do you want to sail your ship of thoughts?
Let’s say you’re in the grocery store, you’re running late-again, checking out in the slowest lane, waiting for an elderly gent to slowly count out his change for his purchase. You could fume and glare, but it would only raise the stress levels of yourself and everyone near you. Or, you could decide to re-frame the situation. Ask yourself why you’re feeling angry? How did you contribute to the situation- did you try to push your schedule to the limit again? If the roles were reversed would you want to others to be patient with you? What if it was your grandfather or loved one in the check out line? How would you want others to treat them? Do you have children with you? What behaviors are you teaching them- kindness and compassion or impatience and self-importance? Make a conscious decision to be compassionate, patient, understanding. Perhaps the circumstances of the gentleman’s life were particularly difficult today, what if he just lost a loved one, is buying a loaf of bread with the last change in his pocket, is racked with pain due to advanced arthritis, is purchasing food for someone in need…. We as humans have the tendency to jump to conclusions about others when our lives would be better served by simply attending to our own thoughts by putting them in the right context. A context of positivity, compassion, kindness, understanding, expansion, and progress is just as easy to imagine as one of judgement, impatience, and irritation. Decide to be thoughtful. Control your thoughts and you control your life. Acknowledge life with gratitude- that’s life- your life- make it a joyful one!
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
A Peace of Humble Pie 